It’s the time of year when I and 55 million other blog writers get the day off and can trot out the same old ideas we’ve been feeding everyone for the last eleven months. The other way to look at this is as a moment to ‘slow down and think about what’s changed in your life’. What has changed around you and what did you actively work at or swap out?
For my part, I get to revisit what was on my mind last January, what was important then, what people were talking about in coaching sessions, what projects we were doing. More than ever before, this year has gone in a flash and so have too my opportunities to try new things out. How about you? Try anything new?
As you read the following lines, does any of it ring a bell? Prompt a revisit? Nudge you closer to a first effort on anything?
Going back over the same material multiple times, for me at any rate, is helpful; I rarely get the point the first time. In fact I usually only remember stuff after about the fourth pass.
Happy Holidays and Happy New Year. See you on the other side.
Here’s the roundup...
Cut out modifiers like a bit, slightly, very and really. It will make the other words you use more powerful.
Refrain entirely from trying to persuade your ‘opponent’ until you have totally grasped their point of view – and they know that you have.
If we want to get in charge of our feelings we need to explain them – name them and what’s causing them.
Agreement requires not only a change of intention but a change of belief before that. Getting commitment to try something first is often quicker than pitching for agreement up front. Call it… try before you buy.
When people use PowerPoint they turn into robots. They do what it says on the slide. If you choose to do the robot thing you’ll get your facts right but the presentation wrong.
Feedback, positive or negative, loses impact when it’s judgmental, non-specific and contains a solution.
I was shocked this morning when you shouted at John in front of the whole Board. [Pause]
Works better than…
The way you were at Board this morning was really aggressive – you really need to rein yourself in.
If we want people to sit up and listen to our ideas we need to give them an incentive to do that. Paying full attention to them first works well.
To help you to talk through the problem, I have to listen. To give you space to think I must stay out of the way by withholding advice – you can do that for yourself once you’ve had a think.
There's that old aphorism: people don't quit their job, they quit their boss. How much harder would it be to leave your boss if they made sure you knew that you were valued.
Children are great learners. They’ll fixate on a single toy. They don’t care if they get it wrong. They try again and again and...
AGAIN (and again)
And lastly for this year... feeling played out/run ragged/full up? Boost your mental resilience with these I'm-sorry-I'm-teaching-you-to-suck-eggs-but-Ibet-you-don't-do-some-of-these-things builders:
1. Switch off the phone - even if you're having fun - they're tiring.
2. Park the issue – write it down.
3. Eat properly, sleep a lot.